QUESTION: A co-worker and I have been paired off to work on projects. At the beginning, we worked well together. As time went on, she began commenting (negatively) on my work, dismissing ideas when she could, and to add fuel to the fire, there were no new or better ideas coming from her end. It has become so frustrating lately. Any advice on how I can handle this?
ANSWER: Dealing with critical co-workers can be very distracting from your project at hand. It can also drain optimism and enthusiasm. It does not, however, have to be a negative experience. How? Consider the following:
Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment.
Reviewing your work with a fine-tooth comb? Trying to blow off your ideas? No ideas coming from the other half of your professional team? It could be that because you are the one who takes the initiative, there is a certain admiration from your co-worker.
Not having to come up with anything on her own, she may have very positive views of your work and wonder why she hasn't come up with any on her own.
Do the very best you can.
Doing your best is a great silencer. Once you have accomplished your project to the absolute best of your ability, you are confident in the fact that you have given your all to complete it. Any critical remarks coming from outside sources can then be put into context for what they really are.
Analyze your own mistakes and criticize yourself.
Everyone makes mistakes. Recognize those you have made. Looking over your mistakes, understanding what caused them and how to prevent them in the future is a great way to learn how to improve on yourself.
You are your own greatest critic. Knowing yourself can assist you in conquering that criticism, and at this point, you already know what you need to improve on.
By using these techniques, you will not only ensure that your projects are of high quality and completed on time, but you will also develop a friendlier and more cooperative relationship with your teammate.
Michael Crom is executive vice president of Dale Carnegie Training. For advice on work issues, visit www.dalecarnegie.com or e-mail carnegiecoach@dalecarnegie.com
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